I have come to realize there are two types of girls: town or country. I used to think that it was hard for both to adjust to the other, but time and my own experience has proven that false. I have found though that regardless of where a country girl ends up, she can’t get rid of that part of herself.
My mom lived in the country for most of her life. Different homes and towns did not change the fact she was more often than not surrounded by more land than people. When our family home was lost to a tornado a few years back, that fact changed. There home is now surrounded by more people than land. There are always cars driving by, you can get almost anywhere in a couple of minutes, and you never have to worry about road conditions (the mud). A lot has changed and yet as I sat in the backyard today, I was reminded that some things are the same.
I believe that you can’t get rid of country if you loved it and my mom loved living in the country. Every year when I was growing up she had a garden. We are not talking about a couple of rows, but more like, “Oh my gosh!!! We have to pick all that!” When I was little, it was always in a field that could be irrigated. As I got older, it moved by the house. She loved working in the garden, nurturing the plants, and then putting everything up in the fall. We even laughed today about the fact that I love picking and shelling peas, but I detest picking green beans. If you have not every done either one of them you should try it one day when it is 101 degrees outside with no breeze. You will learn quickly why.
In Mom and Dad’s new home, there were some flower beds in the back. When she got there, she found a lot of lava rocks and very little dirt. She did not think about how grueling it would be to remove all those rocks. She simply put on her gardening shoes, got out there, got rid of most of the rock, and started planting. It isn’t the huge garden she once had, but it will provide some fresh produce which will make both my parents happy.
I wonder if we need to remember those special things as well when our environment changes. Just because some things, or a lot of things, have been altered in some way, it does not mean you have to get rid of or stop what makes you happy. Grief often makes us so focused on the here and now that we forget the when and how. When were we okay emotionally and how did we usually keep that state? It may be really rocky at first, but it usually only takes getting rid of the obstacles one-by-one until you can plant something good in your life.
You can’t get rid of the country in my mom, just like nothing and no one can get rid of the joy in your life unless you let it. Reflect, think and then react in a way that will help you get the results you want. Life is too short, laughter is often too hard to come by, and peace is too valuable not to remember. You grieve your way to a grave or you can work your way to a bountiful harvest filled with those fresh memories that keep you healthy.