Dating

I often eat lunch with a group of downtown buddies. Last meeting, we discussed our dating years.

Some of these guys are currently unmarried, but not by choice. A few of them have something to offer a lady, but others might be disqualified from reputable dating sites.

An uncle told me I should complement each person who went out with me, but that wasn’t always easy. One girl had really bad halitosis, so I told her I always admired people who carried breath mints.

When I was single, I dated several girls…but not intentionally. Many would not agree to a second date.

I have no idea why. I treated those ladies with the greatest respect. I took them to the best meals I could find for under $10.

I had one huge advantage. I have incredibly common features. I look like somebody you met at a party whose name you might forget.

People constantly ask me, “Don’t I know you?” My usual reply is, “No, but you may know my brother.”

For some reason, a few restaurants in town gave me free meals because I looked like a neighbor, a preacher, or the restaurant owner’s cousin. Those were the places I took dates.

When I met a woman willing to go out with me more than twice – and willing to eat in the restaurants that gave me food – I would ask her to be my girlfriend.

Some of my buddies had much odder experiences. One guy got married, got divorced, then married his exwife’s sister. Today, he’s also uncle to his children, and his first wife’s brother-in-law.

And my vegetarian friend got engaged last year to a lady who owned a poultry farm, but at the last minute he chickened out.