I ran across this on Facebook recently and had to share it, since so many of us Texans are purists and don’t want our state messed up by out-ofstaters. The source is known as ‘Ghost.”
CAUTION!!! To all the people wanting to move here from New York and California (as well as many other heavily populated cities across the country)… and even to those just wanting to visit. Before you come to TEXAS, you must be aware of what is happening here…
There's a housing shortage, rent has tripled, and folks are vacationing here in record numbers.
So, if you plan on moving here, or just plan on vacationing in our woods, river bottoms, or lakes this summer, I think you should know that wolf spiders, fire ants and bedbugs have infested hotels and motels across the area due to dryer than usual weather. The woods will eat you alive with ticks and chiggers.
Our lakes are full of gators, freshwater sharks, and creepy old guys wearing speedos, and our rivers are full of drunks in tubes peeing themselves while the banjo players lay waiting in the bushes.
Mountain lions have eaten many domesticated animals and possibly some small children, and the local bear and coyote population are all 'in heat' and think your wife/girlfriend is hot.
Snakes. Don’t even get me started on the water headed copper moccasins and the diamond back rattlers that grow as big as any house!
The poison ivy has overtaken all other vegetation, and we have had bear sightings at every park and in every town and they are after your picnic baskets. Some cougars have been spotted in motel rooms recently.
Watch out for the jackalopes; they have been extremely aggressive this season.
We have Bigfoot invading our parks and it’s their mating season.
Porcupines are "stabbing" small children should they dare to utilize the local playground equipment.
Skunks have made their way over and are multiplying at unprecedented rates as they wander the local campgrounds in packs looking for beer.
Murder hornets!?! We’ve got great black clouds of murder hornets, and swarms of giant crickets and even some of those Alabama grasshoppers. Scorpions have been congregating in massive quantities under rocks, logs, wooden steps and automobiles… and tarantulas are now stealing people’s food and biting like crazy.
I’m pretty sure all private tiger owners have released their cats into the streets of our cities and towns due to the rising costs of feeding them.
Head lice now fly and we have vampire bats.
Oh… and no one is vaccinated!