There's something beautiful about the experience of reading a print newspaper; the fresh ink on your fingers, the smell of newsprint, and of course, the occasional bizarre and (unintentionally) funny newspaper headlines.
One of my favorite parts of journalism is finding the “failed headline.” They are definitely good for a laugh and crop up almost everywhere at some point.
Take for example, and yes, these are actual headlines:
“Dealers will hear car talk at noon.”
“Red tape holds up new bridge.”
“Enraged cow injures farmer with ax.”
“Kids make nutritious snacks.”
“Stolen painting found by tree.”
I know, it is all in how you read it. But you still have to chuckle.
One of the more fun parts of journalism school was the assignment of researching headlines that should not have happened.
“Police arrest everyone.” Okay… everyone?
Then there’s the one, “Lawyers back despite use of bug spray.” Or “Man accused of killing lawyer receives a new attorney.” The poor lawyers take another hit!
“Man found dead in graveyard.” Really?
“Safety meeting ends in accident.” Note – avoid safety meetings since they are hazards.
“China may be using sea to hide its submarines.” Hmmm – where else would they hide them? In the mountains where they wouldn’t be so conspicuous?
This one came from the Redwood County Extension Educator. “Bugs flying around with wings are flying bugs.”
And in the sports world, “Amphibious pitcher makes debut.” I am still trying to picture that one. Who needs ambidextrous when you have amphibious?
This one leaves a lot open: “Bridge Closure Date: Thursday or October.”
In any case, if a few of our faux pas make you laugh, that is good with me. Laughter is good for the soul.