I ran across this and had to share it. Author unknown.
Have you ever wondered why people ask questions when the answer is glaringly clear?
Example: Walk into a shoe store that sells only shoes, nothing else. And the salesclerk with a tattoo across her forehead and green hair walks up and asks, “What brings you in today?”
That’s when you say, “I’m interested in buying a refrigerator.” (just before watching their mouth drop open and unable to respond with the deer in the headlight look.
I think is comes with old age and a person still having something on the ball, but just being too tired to bounce it.
It is like when people come to visit and see the cat’s litter box and say, “Oh, have you got a cat.” The answer is, “No, it’s for company!”
Employment applications ask who should be called in case of an emergency. The realistic answer is not a family member. Just write down, “An ambulance.”
Other interesting things in life: The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Have you ever noticed the Roman Numerals for 40 are XL.
The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he knows when he’s really in trouble.
Did you ever notice that when you put the two words “The” and “IRS” together it spells “Theirs?”
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
Some people try to turn back their “odometers.” Not me. I want people to know why I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and a lot of the roads were not paved.
Ah! Being young is beautiful but being old is comfortable.
Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.
May you always have love to share, cash to spare, tires with air and friends who care.