When my kids were younger, their Papa made a toy box out of some old wood. There were two rope handles on each side and no top so it was easy to just pick up and throw something inside it when straightening up. Yesterday, I got to dig through that old toy box one more time. You see it has moved from my house to my daughter’s so I do not dig through it much.
My sweet granddaughter was looking for something and we could not find it on the top so I started digging. I found all the crayons that had worked their way to the bottom, some match-up or memory cards, puzzle pieces, and even a Barbie she had been looking for. The hidden riches under all the other treasures were real and the joy in finding them unexpected.
The thing about toy boxes is they are usually filled with toys. The thing about lives is they are usually filled with memories. So often I hear at funerals that the one gift God gives those who knew the deceased is their memories of time together. We can dig them up and remember as much as we want to. No one has ever said that those unpleasant or even heartbreaking memories are something you want to dig through, but I believe if we truly want to get to a good place emotionally and mentally that sometimes that is just what you need to do.
I find it is easier for me to do this as time goes by. The pain I initially felt has been replaced with sadness, resignation or a combination of them both. I am at a place where I know that the good as well as painful times have made me who I am and I am really good with that. Sometimes only complete healing occurs when you realize you will never understand or be okay with what happened, but you do not have to let it have power over you either.
I think of the difficult times in my life and how I was hurt only to be reminded of all I learned as a result of the pain. You cannot compassionately help a friend through a painful incident if you have not gone through something similar. Our tanks fill up with empathy and love as we walk the hard course so that we can fill someone else’s tank when they are on empty. We choose to fill lives with treasures so the digging around later reveals lessons that are priceless.
I also find it easier to forgive and move on when I dig deep down and remember there is more good than bad around me. I am always surprised when someone forgets that. In fact all the negativity we are seeing is a perfect reminder that many of us live on the surface instead of moving stuff aside until we find what we are looking for. Remember mold and rot always are seen at the top. You often have to work down to what is still good, but you can find it if you want to bad enough.
Dig around in your memory and think of those treasures others may or may not know about. Pull them up to the surface and begin to see how they can benefit you right now. You may find a bunch or maybe just one or two, but let the ones you do locate make your chore a little easier. I do believe that is one of the gifts of life—the ability to dig until you hit pay dirt.