The New Norm

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The blessing and the curse of a family member having diet restrictions is that you get to do things differently. Our family now has to watch dairy and wheat when cooking. For many it would not seem to be that big of an adjustment, but if you want to know how it changes what you buy, eat, or make, look at the ingredients of many, if not all, of the things you purchase on a consistent basis.

The items we so often used at mealtime can no longer be eaten so you have to look for alternatives either when shopping or cooking. I have found that the adjustment is more time consuming because of the thought it takes to create yummy dishes than difficult. I really have to pay attention to everything I do simply because the other is so normal. I have to think ahead now instead of throwing something together and then, more often than not, I get to make things a couple of times until it tastes like I like it.

There are many of you reading this that you too had a new normal this Thanksgiving. It had nothing to do with shopping or creating something to eat, but it did deal with a family member or multiple members being absent because of the fears so prevalent at this time. It is not a state that is easy or in any way reflects what went on in the past, but it is a reality you have to deal with.

Making glutton-dairy free food and creating a memory are much alike. You have to think of the details, spend time, and then hope it all goes well. The problem with the new norm as it relates to grieving is that the human element can be lost if we are not careful. Grief craves sole attention.

I can look for a flour alternative, but where do you find the same thing for a hug? I can adjust a recipe until it is just right, but how do you adjust time together when it is not happening? I think in both instances this is where creativity can shine.

We conduct meetings or church on Zoom so why do we not do the same thing with family? Face-time or Skype have been around for a while just like ingredient alternatives and it can bring family that is miles apart in the same room in a simple click. Cards that are often sent on special occasions but have gone out of fashion because of texting can be sent again. I think the problem is not that our normal has changed, but that in many cases we are so set in our ways we cannot see the benefits of a new normal. A diet or a state does not have to be positive or negative if we can see the benefit of the reality and be creative in how we deal with it.

I will be honest in saying I grieved the fact that my family was not all together this year. I can say that because we as a family unit knew this was coming we looked for healthy, alternatives. We Skyped my parents and sent text to those who could not be with us. We did not settle for doing without simply because our time together is not normal right now..

You may not be facing new diet restrictions, but we are all facing a new norm of some type. Are you willing to make changes so everyone will stay healthy? How are you adjusting so that everyone will benefit? A new normal can turn into a standard custom over time and all the ingredients you need are “time + love = memories”. So be creative and start mixing up what can be something your family will come to enjoy each and every day not just on holidays.