I was recently visiting with a sweet friend who was reminiscing about someone who had died. They were discussing their thoughts, priorities and even voiced beliefs. One thing that saddened me was the fact the one gone had worried so much about their appearance and social standing. I have seen the devastating consequences of a life obsessed on society’s approval.
I used to be that person. I wanted to be accepted. I tried the usual things so often seen as markers of acceptability: nice house, right clothes, suitable actions, etc. I worked hard at it and then one day I realized something. Social acceptance and even approval in many cases is just hogwash.
We cause ourselves and the ones we love so much grief if we are trying to fit in to a mold created by others. It is like putting a square peg in a round hole. You, your children, and even your family are unique. They are to live in a way that benefits themselves and others why appreciation of differences is accepted. They are not to allow society standards to so dictate what they are that they forget who they are.
I look back and remember so many who we called “weird ducks”. You know the ones I am talking about and maybe it was you. You lived your life the way you saw fit. Maybe you dressed a little different or made a choice others would not have made. It is possible that you spoke your mind when everyone else was mute or maybe you kept your peace while everyone else was screaming their thoughts. You were just a little different.
I wished I had learned earlier to be this type of person. You know the quirky one that everyone remembers with a smile. The one who lit up the room simply because they did not know they were to be like everyone else. The one that helped us remember that one bloom in a field is what most of us focus on instead of all the dead grass around it.
I look at one special person to remind myself that in the end what society does or even voices is so contrary to how I need to live. Jesus confronted and very often condemned those who lived by society’s standards; the ones who fit in. They dressed and lived the part of being socially acceptable. Jesus stood out much like a flower does. He lived by the standards he knew were right. Ones not dictated by others, but by his Father.
Do not be so worried about what people think about you or if you will be accepted that you fade into the norm. In a sea of faces, you do not want to be the one that fits right in until you can never feel the joy of standing out. Do not let societal hogwash dull your distinctiveness to the point no one can remember your beauty.
I grieve the fact that there are times when what society deems important is so overpowering that people are lost. I mourn when standards so contrary to God’s word are accepted. I am distressed when a life is snuffed out before that person can realize that they are accepted by a Father that does not care about societal standards. In the end, appearances and societal hogwash do not matter and they should never dictate how you live.